


Things to Remember me By

by Spklvr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lie Low At Lupin's, M/M, but SAD fluff, rs24hrchallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 09:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13268421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spklvr/pseuds/Spklvr
Summary: Remus wants to help Sirius while he's staying with him.





	Things to Remember me By

**Author's Note:**

> Promt chosen by NachoDiablo. The theme was the morning after, and had to include the words pillow, banana, firewhisky, snogging, fire, lipstick, window, hippogryff, tattoo, jealous. You'd think a fic including those words would be more fun than this...

When Remus arrived home late that evening, his cottage lit up only by a weak porch light, he startled at the sight of Buckbeak’s body sticking out from the kitchen window. He had to presume the head was still attached on the other side. The hippogriff sensed his arrival and backed up to inspect him, and after each of their polite bows, he shuffled off towards the woods, and Remus entered the cottage through the kitchen entry. 

Sirius was sat in the dark by the kitchen table, rubbing absentmindedly on a tattoo along his now bony arms, barely registering that Remus had come home, even as the lights flickered on. “Where did Buckbeak go?” Sirius asked weakly, without looking his way. He had never used to do anything weakly. Now there were times he could just barely lift his cup of tea. At least his hair was returning somewhat to normal. It had taken hours and countless cleaning and detangling charms to return only half of its once glossy shine. Sirius had refused to cut it off, just like back then. 

“Went to catch something to eat I presume,” Remus said as he placed the bag he was carrying on the table in front of his… friend. “I brought you some things,” Remus explained when he saw Sirius eyeing the brown paper bag curiously. 

“What things?” he asked. Had his voice carried better, it would have sounded accusing. 

“Just things,” Remus said, before reaching into it to bring out the first of the things. A bottle of firewhiskey. “Want a glass?” 

“Sure.” Remus went to the cupboards and fished out a couple of glasses that were not meant for whiskey at all. Sirius would have fussed about it before, but didn’t as much as sneer at the tall glass he was given, and only poured himself well over half a glass. 

Encouraging the drowning of one's sorrows wasn’t something he should take part in, but having spent the majority of the last decade inebriated, he couldn’t really bring himself to say anything against it. So instead of speaking up, he poured himself an equal amount. “Taste anything special about it?” Remus asked. 

“Should I?” 

“Thought you might.”

Sirius inhaled sharply. It was clear he only wanted to drink and not partake in whatever Remus was trying to get him into, but Remus put on his pleading eyes that had always worked and he was happy to say still worked. After a little groan of displeasure, Sirius took a small sip and let it slosh about in his mouth for a moment. 

If it was one thing Remus was good at, it was keeping his expectations low. He did not truly expect anything to come of his little experiment, until Sirius’ face suddenly lit up with recognition. “It’s that awful Bulgarian shit!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“It’s that awful Bulgarian shit.”

“That you stole from your father that night I snuck into your home…” The excitement quickly faded. “I don’t remember why I snuck in.”

“It was summer break. You wanted to come check on me after my first full moon without you since you became animagi, but my parents didn’t allow me to have company until I got better.”

“Better my arse. You were perfectly fine. We put up a silencing charm on your room, drank this whiskey, and snogged until we passed out from exhaustion.” Sirius huffed and took another sip, scrunching up his nose with distaste this time. He had swallowed it like water before. Perhaps his experiment would work out after all. “Did your dad ever find out you stole it?”

“Never. It had been sat in our kitchen for nearly a decade without anyone taking a sip for a reason.” Remus rummaged through the bag again, and brought out a plate with a charmed cover to keep it cold. “I brought dessert.”

“Dessert? We didn’t have dinner.”

“We’re adults now. We can have dessert whenever we like.”

Seeing Sirius smile - wide and toothy - had never caused Remus such joy as now that he hadn’t seen it for so many years. He removed the lid to reveal what was underneath. The sight of the banana laid on top of three large scoops of ice cream, slathered in chocolate syrup and peanuts, didn’t seem to jog his memory, but he hoped the taste would. 

“What is this madness?” Sirius asked.

“A banana split,” Remus explained. “It’s a muggle thing. Try it.”

His previous hesitations seemed to have gone - possibly the firewhiskey had something to do with it - and he dug in quickly. Once a picky and grudgingly dainty eater, Sirius now tended to devour his food without much care for its taste. Remus feared that might cause this part of the experiment to fail, but Sirius suddenly stopped. “We had this once, didn’t we?” 

“We did,” Remus said calmly.

“In London. It was really cold that day.”

“Yet you still insisted on having ice cream.”

“I’d never seen anything like it before.” Sirius put his spoon down and stared at the remains of the ice cream in front of him. “It was our first Christmas break after starting Hogwarts, and I secretly flooed to meet you in Diagon Alley, and I insisted you take me to muggle London. 

“We went to Hyde Park.”

“And we got so cold, we had to escape into the only pub that would allow us, and he made us order something.” He paused to think for a moment before he suddenly shouted, “I am the Walrus!”

A burst of laughter escaped Remus. He had forgotten that part. “We listened to that at the record shop!” he said and Sirius nodded vigorously. “It was my favorite song and you hated it so I made you listen to it until you said you didn’t anymore.”

“It didn’t make me hate it any less,” he said, laughing. “I used to listen to it a lot when you were away. Back when…” Sirius trailed off and his gaze fell down to his hands. Remus took his cue to get the last item from the bag, though whether it would make Sirius feel better or not, he wasn’t sure.

He placed the small item in Sirius’ folded hands and watched as he wrapped his long fingers around it. “It’s the same one,” he said. 

“Yes.” It was the same brand and the same color, but Remus had had to transfigure the packaging to make it look like it had then. It was a dark purple lipstick. Sirius held it up in front of him with something akin to reverence. With shaky hands, he uncapped it, but he his hands were to unsteady to apply it properly, and Remus got up from his chair to help. 

Sirius back then would have done a much better job of it, but it looked alright. “Back then I felt like both, but now I don’t feel like any gender anymore. I barely feel human.” He let out a short, cruel snicker. “To think I’m more insane now than when I used to dress like a woman.”

“You weren’t insane.”

“Not what my parents said.”

“I always loved this color on you.”

Sirius sighed, and his hard expression softened and the faintest smile appeared. “I used to love this color on _you_.”

“I never wore it?” Remus half asked, half stated. He was quite certain of that. Even if he had wanted to, he never had Sirius’ courage to go against the norm that way. 

“No, but when I kissed you, the color always transferred. There was a bloke a year over us who used to watch you all the time, the same way I used to watch you all the time. Once I kissed you below the ear, a place only someone like him would notice it, so that he’d see you were taken.”

“Jealous prick.”

Sirius smile widened just a bit, and he continued to eat the now melting ice cream. When it was finished, Remus hovered it to the sink while helping Sirius up. “Want to go to bed?”

“Yeah.” 

They shared Remus’ bed, small as it was. The first few days, Remus had tried to sleep on the couch, but Sirius had woken up at night screaming with fear from his nightmares. Remus being near him helped, he’d said. Sometimes he’d cling to him like he’d vanish. Sirius probably feared exactly that. As they had both laid down on their pillows, Remus reached out and brushed Sirius’ hair from his face. “I’ve missed you,” he said. “Even now that you’re here, I sometimes miss you.”

“Think I’ll ever be as I was?” Sirius whispered, barely audible and far too loud at once. 

“Neither of us will be. After all that we’ve experienced, we shouldn’t be.”

Sirius nodded with understanding. Even as they lay there, neither of them shut their eyes, and unable to stop himself anymore, Remus came close and kissed him. While not pulling away, Sirius didn’t reciprocate to start with, but just as Remus was about to stop, Sirius’ large hands wrapped around his head and pulled him in tighter. The tingle in his stomach, the magic he felt in his lover’s lips, it was exactly the same. 

They fell asleep in a tight embrace, and when Remus woke, he woke to the sight of the mischivious glint in Sirius' eyes, and for a moment he thought he was dreaming of their past, until he saw the hallowed face and weary lines. Gently, Sirius trailed his thumb along Remus' lips. “I really _do_ love that color on you.”


End file.
